Are You Spending Your Time With The Right People?

Are You Spending Your Time With The Right People?

Sunday is often a time to reflect back on the previous week and plan for the next one. I have had an interesting one. I have worn many different hats and switched them regularly – and hopefully seamlessly. Reflecting on my activities of the past fortnight I am reminded of a few things I know about myself. I enjoy change, I work well under pressure and my freedom and independence are paramount.

Recently, I attended a workshop with an amazing woman who spoke about networking. Not new to this concept, I wondered beforehand what I would learn, if anything, and what I would be reminded of.

Every experience brings with it an opportunity to learn and grow.

I surprised myself and was completely absorbed and engaged throughout her entire presentation. There were SO many gems in what she said and I brought many into my movements this week.
Two main points stood out for me – two takeaways, and I will share these with you today.

As she was speaking, I related her ideas back to the hundreds of events I had attended over the years. So many people wanting to sell their product, or get me to join their thing, or sign up for their course, or hire their services or take a free trial.

Take Away #1 – Networking is about building relationships not selling

I thought about my own business, the copywriting and the speaking, and what I am trying to achieve. Taking on board some thoughts from a well-known inspirational speaker and author, I have become clear about who I want to work with and why.

I want to do business with people whose values align with mine, not just those who want what I have.

This brings me to my next point. The famous Jim Rohn said:

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. They will shape who you are, and they will determine what conversations (and activities) dominate your attention.”

From the beginning of our life, we are exposed to influences that shape us. Our earliest experiences set a foundation for the people we will become.

Let me be clear, I do not believe in blaming a crappy childhood, for your life today, if that’s what you had. There are too many stories of people who have navigated and survived completely dysfunctional upbringings or traumatic experiences to go on and do amazing and purposeful things. I do acknowledge, however, that your early years play a role in molding the person you are today.

Some of our earliest experiences and beliefs contribute to creating the habits we adopt and the way we live our lives.

Ben – 2014

Take Away #2 – Who are you spending your time with?

It is so easy to increasingly spend your days (and ultimately your life) with the wrong people. The wrong industry with the wrong colleagues, the wrong friends, the wrong relationships, the list goes on.

Caveat. I don’t like using labels such as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. In fact, I have tried to eliminate these from my vocabulary, both mentally and verbally to adopt a more non-judgemental attitude. I do use the word wrong in this post, however, for the purpose of context and understanding.

How do you know what is a good working, personal or romantic relationship? Perhaps the following questions will help narrow it down for you. Think about a specific relationship.

  • Do you bring out the best in each other?
  • Do you challenge the others beliefs and contribute to growth?
  • Do you encourage, and respect each other?
  • Do you listen to each other?
  • Do you add value to each other?
  • Do you both benefit from spending time together?

I have a girlfriend who I adore. She is in a completely different industry to me and we share very few common friends. Neither of us is a client of the other and our personal activities and circles are not the same.

You may be wondering why we hang out and what we have in common? Well, Ben for starters, and some very strong beliefs. Our values are aligned. It is a friendship of zero judgment, huge love, and support.

After each catch-up, I walk away with a smile on my face and I feel good. Nothing is off the table and we talk about anything and everything. We share thoughts and interesting observations, opinions, and stories. There are several things we don’t agree on but even there, is deep mutual respect.  

Life is too short to spend time with those who do not encourage, uplift, inspire and support you. It is too short to spend time with people that don’t make you feel good. There are many energy vampires out there and if the people you hang out with most don’t make you want to be a better you, Citius-Altius-Fortius, then what are you doing?

Much love

Dalya xx 💙

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