“… People are so consumed with themselves. If they just thought about each other for a change, they could provide support and would learn so much about gratitude!”
“You are right” he replied, “the human race has mostly DEvolved into an uncaring, self-absorbed, closed off people. They don’t care about one another any longer. Perhaps this can be the topic of conversation in your latest blog post?”
We have created a society where ‘revenge is sweet’ or ‘a dish best served cold’. Yet many people act revengeful when no good can come of their actions other than to inflict suffering on others.
Many of us believe in ‘an eye for an eye’ and our legal system is incredibly primitive, punishing people based on precedence rather than case by case and encouraging them to do something positive. Why don’t we empower people to become accountable and take responsibility, while guiding them to do (or create) something to enhance, educate or better the lives of others? Why isn’t this the punishment?
On the other side of the coin, I wonder how often people are ‘punished’ for consequences that were largely out of their control. And we label it a penalty and pretend it’s rehabilitation. I call it adding another layer of negativity on an already traumatised person. And perhaps you are saying ‘well what about a repeat offender, or someone who commits a ‘serious’ crime? They need to be ostracised, punished and thrown in jail right?’
Really? Wrong! ‘Serious’ is speculative and based on opinion. How about we find out why repeat offenders are offending and spend the money on getting to the bottom of the problem and fixing the roots. We could focus on attending to their mental health and re-educating them in a compassionate and non judgemental way. I would bet that 9 times out of 10 the issues lie in something they experienced in their childhood or they are the product of their upbringing. I would also bet that with the right care, the majority could go on to live a meaningful and purposeful life.
There is a saying that hate (or revenge) is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.
Scientists have found that even though there are a few moments of reward in our brain, it can prolong the pain of the original offense. So, in delivering what we call revenge, it often creates a negative cycle. And when is enough enough?
We seem to have moved away from each other as a society. I read this is evidenced by our disassembling the smaller communities in favour of huge cities. In an attempt to create a space for more people to live together, we have managed to create an immense sense of isolation amongst millions of people.
We have no little or no sense of responsibility for each other and even when we actively ask for help, it is often met with ‘I’m too busy’ or ‘You are very high maintenance’.
What if everything we think, say and do is a reflection of what we have decided about ourselves. A statement of who we are and an act of creation in deciding who we want to be.
Technology has given us some incredible opportunities and significantly advanced elements of our lives, but it has also contributed to people gradually losing the ability to have face to face conversations. So many of our kids struggle to face, never mind deal with the reality of needing to be responsible for themselves and others. They have found the ultimate way to hide from the world and we introduced it to them by way of the ‘screens’. I won’t even mention the devastation they suffer in silence, and often alone, having experienced loss and grief.
And so, we continue to distract ourselves, ignoring the homeless person and focusing on what a bad day we had and being sure to let everyone we meet know about it.
Okay, yes it’s time to turn this post around into a positive one. IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!
- If you care about someone, show them you care! Stay in touch with them. It doesn’t matter if they respond or not.
- If you are concerned for someone, show them! Reach out and do it regularly. You don’t need validation.
- If you want people to trust you, show them they can! Live your own life in integrity. Prove constantly that you will do what you say will.
- And if you want people to be nicer, more compassionate or kinder, then do what a real leader would do and say ‘I’ll go first’ instead of ‘Follow me’.
Decide to go first in demonstrating forgiveness, understanding, generosity, kindness, compassion, positivity and LOVE.
In honour of those that I love and care about, near and far, in this realm and the other…
Dalya xx 💙