A woman builds a business. She employs several people and is a good boss. She values her staff, and they feel respected. She makes a good income and lives a comfortable lifestyle. She has a great house, great cars, great investments, and great toys. She is in a loving and happy relationship and wants for nothing… mostly.
The woman often finds herself staring into space feeling like there is more she should be doing, but isn’t sure what that is. She has lots to be grateful for, and she IS grateful, but she can’t seem to shake that niggling feeling that something is missing.
Looking from the outside in, you would see a successful woman, whose life is good, and all her needs are met. In reality, the woman feels a sense of emptiness and carries around a void that she has not yet managed to fill… and doesn’t know how.
Last week we said that to begin to find our purpose we must first focus on what we can give to life as opposed to what we can get out of it.
We live in a time of instant gratification. We want everything fast! Fast food, fast internet, fast tracking, fast delivery, and fast results. I get it, fast is convenient if we are in a hurry. Quick is great when you have several priorities.
But there are some things in life that just don’t come fast and take as long as they take. Some things can take literally a lifetime to create and establish – happiness, purpose, fulfillment, and a sense of meaning. Some things can’t be bought, sourced, or googled. They can only be discovered by taking time out, removing distractions, and going within.
And just as we need to meet people where they are at, we need to start our journey of discovery where WE are at. So, today’s first question is this:
Where are you at right now?
We are all born with something that has been described as many things. I call it our soul or our essence. This is what makes us unique and I believe is our guide and major signpost to finding our purpose. It is our ‘gut feel’, our ‘goosebumps’ and just as our soul is unique, so is our passion, our purpose, and our journey. And only we can figure it out.
Feeding the ego is the quickest way to starve the soul
When we focus on what we can do for others, not on what we can get, we can move closer to figuring out our purpose and what we are really here for. How ironic! Focussing on others actually benefits us in the long run! And how good does it feel to be able to do something nice for someone else 😊
Over the course of a typical day, take stock of how many times you say, I/Me vs You/Your.
After a period of thinking about yourself, your issues, your challenges, and your problems, how do you feel?
Often it’s like opening a window and letting in negative emotions, feeling down, depressed, inadequate, or even like an imposter! Who hasn’t felt like this at some point or other??
When we shift our focus and use our talents, skills, challenges, and failures for the benefit of others, we can start to feel fulfilled.
In my experience, it is always when
- I accept that I must be here for a higher purpose (whether I know it or not) and
- that the picture is always bigger than what I see, (it’s all happening at the right time and for the right reason),
that the things I might be inclined to worry about (success, results, $, security) are put into perspective.
Maybe you already know what your purpose is or maybe you are taking the first steps to find it.
As we move through life and encounter different situations, our purpose changes just as we change – mine sure has!
So perhaps finding our purpose starts with also recognising where you are at right now and what feels good.
What makes you come alive?
What gives you a burst of positive energy?
What lights you up?
Often this involves learning what is not our purpose. When things don’t work out the way we want them to, or things feel overly difficult and we are disappointed or frustrated, it’s time to ask, ‘Am I forcing something that is just not for me?’ Maybe the frustration is part of the process … maybe not.
Or perhaps it’s just not that complicated. What if some souls come to earth for 60, 80 or 15 years, simply to perform one act of helping someone, planting a seed, or giving a different perspective? Simple as that.
It seems that the key to a fulfilling life takes a huge amount of self-reflection, lots of questions, and being prepared to change direction (quickly and often).
I think a good indication of whether we’re on the right track lies in how we feel (self-awareness required).
If it feels good, regardless of what the immediate results look like, we’re probably heading in the right direction. Our purpose can’t make us feel bad or have a negative impact on others.
‘Ok, I think I’ve found it – now what?’ Recognise it and take action!
Before I do anything, I can ask myself ‘Is what I am about to do moving me towards finding/fulfilling my purpose?’ If the answer is ‘no’, then I can choose to not do it and choose something that will bring me closer.
Remembering our first gift, the gift of choice, gives us control over our actions and ultimately makes life easier. At the end of the day, we all know whether ‘this feels right‘ and if ‘this is the right thing‘😊
Dalya xx 💙