Are You Playing The Blame Game?

Are You Playing The Blame Game?

We were all born with choice.
The older we get the more we get to exercise this choice.
The more we exercise choice, the more of life we experience – the good and the ugly.
The more we experience the more obstacles we must navigate.
The more we navigate the greater our resilience to future challenges becomes.

You cannot build resilience without facing adversity

When we are accountable for our actions, we inevitably become more self-aware. This allows us to grow a little more into a better version of ourselves. It brings us closer to that deeper level and true essence of who we really are.

The addict comes to mind as I write this. No one wakes up and decides they want to become an addict. I have met a few in my lifetime and I cannot imagine what they go through on a daily basis. I don’t believe that addiction itself is a choice but how a person manages it absolutely comes into play moving forward.

The source of pain is always and invariably to be found in a person’s lived experience, beginning with childhood. Childhood trauma (regardless of the severity) is the template for addiction – ANY addiction.

– Dr Gabor Mate

And so, it is our responsibility to also ask, ‘why the pain?

Understand, regardless of what the source of your pain or trauma is, it does not serve you to blame it.

Sure, blaming someone or something outside ourselves is much easier and more comfortable than taking responsibility. We already blame social media for a myriad of problems, yet none of us are forced to engage. We choose that all by ourselves.

Has anyone else heard the saying ‘guns don’t kill, people do!’?

To use the example of social media, this technology can be used to empower, inspire, and add huge value to others – In the right hands, it can be life-changing – for the better!

BUT … WE are responsible for what we share. So, in fact, WE are responsible for lifting people up or bringing people down. Encouraging compassion or fuelling anger.

WE decide what we consume.
WE decide what we read.
WE decide how we act.
WE decide how we treat others.

It’s not acceptable anymore to say, ‘This is how I’ve always been’.
Okay, so if you don’t like it, choose to be different!

We often use our past (or present), or sometimes a condition, as an excuse to justify a lack of personal accountability and responsibility for our actions – something to blame.

So why does it matter if we are personally responsible or accountable?

  • It allows you to become more invested in whatever activity you are doing
  • It provides a valuable tool for managing your physical, mental, and emotional health
  • It provides a sense of purpose
  • It allows you to create a strategy to avoid future mistakes
  • It helps create meaningful relationships that are based on reliability and trust
  • It creates a positive environment for you and those around you

Personal responsibility is evidence that you take pride in yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally which promotes positive holistic health.

Sidestepping responsibilities may feel good temporarily but you may find yourself feeling continually ‘stuck’ in your life.

The life you get is going to be the result of the choices you make and the actions you take.

Jon Butcher – co-creator of Lifebook

Next week we will talk about the concept of Givers and Takers so until then, I will leave you with these questions:

Where are you right now in your life?
What is your current premise or belief in relation to where you are right now?
Where/who would you like to be? Why?
What do you need to do to get there?
When will you take the first step?

Leave your excuses at the door.
You can live your life as a victim of your circumstance but it will only hold you back from being your most amazing you!

Much Love
Dalya xx 💙

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