Feel Like You Had an Epic Fail? Read This…

Feel Like You Had an Epic Fail? Read This…

What an interesting start to the year. I hear so many people express a desire for this year to be better than last year only to follow it up with ‘…but it’s not looking good so far!’ In December they were saying ‘…I hope 2022 is better than 2021′. The unfortunate truth is many of us will get to the end of 2022 and say the same thing looking into 2023.

We spend so much time trying to forget the last twelve months instead of trying to figure out what made them.

Whilst the sentiment is understandable, it provides a timely reminder.

How easy is it to (un)consciously judge – events, circumstances, results, challenges, the previous year, other humans, and especially ourselves? Judgement usually leads to labeling that leads to a downward spiral – that was a disaster, I’m a failure, he’s an ass, that business is doing everything wrong, I don’t even have a business! and on and on.

We limit ourselves in so many ways by doing this.

Everything we experience in life will have excellent moments and great challenges. It’s part of the package. Perhaps nothing teaches you this lesson more than having children. Think about it. These beautiful little people fill you up with so much love, literally bringing tears to your eyes, and yet they can make you so incredibly nuts at the same time.
The bigger picture is even our children are both excellent and challenging at different times.

The good news and the bad is that nothing stays the same. Life is about ‘eb and flow‘. Our job is to manage our attitudes and emotions and learn as we go. If we are open-minded it is easier to find a positive perspective when the sh*t hits the fan.

I wrote last week about falling off your wagon and starting where you are at. I write about a lot of things, and I offer thoughts and suggestions (usually only when asked) but often in these weekly posts. Sometimes I even take the advice I offer.

Ben’s first attempt at driving – Feb 2005

This week I want to share a personal story.

In November, I began my To Do list(s). I wrote down a range of things I wanted to do and complete over the break. I had lots to keep me busy and a good balance of fun things as well. I thought I had every area ticked. Fun, work, study, relaxing, movies, books, adventures etc.

I was deliberately setting a booby trap to prepare for what has previously been a nightmare time of year for me. In my mind, this Xmas was going to be better. I was four years down the track after losing my gorgeous Ben and I had this sorted now.

My plans had the added bonus of setting myself up for a strong start to 2022. I was pretty impressed with myself. I was absolutely going to be on the front foot come January 1st. I was going to kick ass!

I cleaned my office early December, decluttered my filing tray, sorted bits of paper and post-it notes, and cleared out email boxes. I even booked a two-day Yoga workshop January 1-2 to put a tick next to my personal growth/spiritual box. Surely starting the new year with two days of yoga would give me a huge advantage.

Let me tell you what actually happened.

Christmas 2021 was probably the worst one I have had so far. My fabulous lists went out the window. My strong and positive attitude and intentions of ‘let’s kick ass’ were buried in a thick fog. I found myself in a puddle of tears more than once and became so disillusioned with where I was at, I couldn’t get out of my own way.

Part of me wanted to just give up on all the great things I had looked forward to in 2022 and quit there and then.

I not only fell off my wagon but I believed it had left town without me! I had not achieved half of what I wanted to and I was not feeling strong or on the front foot as the new year began.

I tell you this NOT for sympathy or so you feel the need to send the ‘I’m so sorry, you should have gotten in touch…’ messages. (I wouldn’t have) I tell you this to let you know that even the best of us, the ones that look like they have it all going on, the ones that lay the best plans and have back-up plans, also have ‘superpower’ malfunctions.

Every inspirational person out there that we look up to and admire, listen to on podcast, follow on Instagram, has excellent moments and huge challenges. Behind every awesome person is a story of them wading through thick cold treacle wearing rubber boots 4 sizes too big. The ones that inspire us are the ones that keep wading until it becomes easier to move.

You know those people that you meet and you have an instant connection with. There is something about the engagement that makes you breathe a sigh of relief and feel okay to just be you. I had a conversation this week with one of these beautiful friends. Despite having my proverbial mask firmly in place at the start of the call, I quickly found myself wiping big tears from my cheeks as I shared on Zoom what a ‘disaster‘ I was and what I saw as an ‘epic fail‘ to the beginning of what was supposed to be an awesome January!

He reminded me of many things (he’s wise like that). He shared part of his recent story and I realised I was not alone. This person is someone I admire and he reminded me that the challenges I was experiencing were not new and he had also faced them. He also told me what I already knew, but had forgotten, in that it didn’t matter what happened in December or so far in January, I was right on track and would go on to do great things this year.

Oh, and my yoga workshop? Yes, I went into it knowing my instructor was well into her 80’s and has been practicing and teaching for over 50 years. I wanted to learn from someone who even before meeting her, inspired me.

My point is sometimes it takes people like her and my beautiful friend, to ground us again and remind us of what is possible. It’s so easy to get buried under, ‘I can’t‘, ‘It’s too hard‘ and ‘I’m not like them‘ and the best one ‘I’m an imposter’.

So where are you?

Here I am. January 16. Bruised but smiling and strong. I am ready to start the year. I took my advice and I started where I was at. Perhaps you will too.

Maybe this is the year to discover what’s possible for you. The tragedy would be to miss experiences and decline opportunities for growth and self-expansion because we don’t get out of our own way. And the opportunities WILL come our way!

To wrap up, what would a post from me be without some great quotes? I feel all of these are appropriate this week.

A wonderfully wise quote from a child:

We are all a little broken, but last time I checked, broken crayons still color.’

None of us is perfect, however…

The things that make me different are the things that makes me ME!’ – Winnie the Pooh

And if you happen to be driving with one foot on the brake, give yourself permission to …

‘Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being excited about what could go right’ – Tony Robbins

To finish, and to re-iterate that we really can start (again) any time, I found a list of goals Ben had written ‘for the next ten years’. It was dated 24/2/2013. Guess he had a slow start to the year as well 😊

Stay strong – keep going – you seriously do have this!!

Much love
Dalya xx 💙

2 comments

  1. Fidelma Thorne says:

    What a beautiful story to wake up to this morning Dalya. A good reminder to me to just keep going!
    May 2022 bring you many happy days that are joyful and filled with peace, contentment, success, and good health.
    With love Del x

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