Last week, we touched on living with awareness and noticing when something feels off. The inner knowing you feel when you are so sure about something, yet the person you are interacting with tries to convince you otherwise. We are not talking now about simply disagreeing or having different opinions. Gaslighting is subtle and is not always easy to spot. It doesn’t arrive in big dramatic moments but rather small, consistent interactions that chip away at your certainty and self-confidence over time.

A comment might be dismissed as ‘just a joke’, or a memory you recall rejected or reframed as never having happened, or at least not the way you remember it. You might express hurt, worry or concern, only to be told you’re being oversensitive or overreacting, and your honesty and vulnerability are ignored. These may seem minor in isolation, but repeated again and again, they begin to create doubt.
Doubt in your memory. Doubt in your feelings. Doubt in your very perception of reality.

At its core, gaslighting is usually about power and control. It is often the manipulative tool of choice for someone fearful of revealing something about themselves that they are trying to keep hidden. By causing you to question yourself, they position themselves as the authority, the one who defines what is true, what is real and what is acceptable. Over time, this dynamic can leave you feeling like you are crazy. You can feel disoriented, anxious, and even become dependent on the very person who is undermining you.

Left unchecked, these small seeds of doubt can grow into something much bigger. And this is where gaslighting becomes so destructive. It doesn’t just challenge one conversation or one memory; it begins to unravel the entire fabric of how you see yourself and the world around you. It can leave you questioning everything you once believed and certainly your beliefs in the moment. Just like pulling a loose thread on a jumper, the more you pull, the more it unravels until all that is left is a pile of tangled wool. Questions. Confusion. Doubt. You no longer recognise what was once there and question whether it ever existed at all. You wonder what you can trust, if anything.

Gaslighting is never an expression of love or compassion. In truth, it’s rarely even about you – it’s about them. Because its impact is so devastating, gaslighting kills trust – trust in others and trust in yourself.

The antidote is cultivating a strong sense of self-awareness and staying anchored to your inner truth. Listen to that little voice inside you. Notice what your body is telling you. If you find you are surrounded by people who consistently shut you down, it may be time to step back and seek out those who honour and respect your truth, even if it’s different from their own. You deserve to be heard.

So when you notice the early whispers of gaslighting, that nagging feeling that ‘something isn’t right’, pay attention. It might be an invitation to pause, reflect, and ask yourself: Is this really about me, or is something else at play here?

Much Love
Dalya & Ben xx 💙