Life is short. We get one shot at it this time around, and none of us know when our time is up. It could be tomorrow, or it could be years from now.
If the average lifespan is around 80 years, then the average life consists of approximately forty-two million minutes. Each 24-hour period gives us 1440 minutes, and by 7 am, around 420 have already been spent sleeping. That leaves us with a daily choice: how are we using the minutes we have left? Are we being true to ourselves in our waking hours? Are we loving how we spend the majority of our time? And are we making our world, even in small ways, a better place?
Recently, in conversations about authority and who society takes its cues from, I watched the famous Milgram Experiment. This highly unethical experiment revealed a confronting truth. The majority of people were willing to go against their conscience and inflict harm on others when instructed by who they perceived as a legitimate authority figure – in this case, a man in a white lab coat. This means only the minority would resist and refuse to compromise their principles, even under pressure.
Surely this is a wakeup call to increase greater self-awareness and a deeper recognition of our values, so that our choices align more closely with who we truly are?
This raises the question: who are we in that experiment? The one who blindly follows orders despite discomfort or the one who pauses, reflects, and chooses integrity over compliance?
In today’s world, those who resist, question, or ‘buck the system’ are sometimes labelled difficult, change-averse, disruptors, or even misfits. (I am not talking about terrorists or vigilantes here.) Yet perhaps some of these people are more in tune with their own compass of self-awareness and integrity. The ones willing to say, ‘Just because I can, doesn’t mean I should.’ Often these are the ones we see as unusual or different. As a simple example, it’s very easy to lie, but does that mean that it’s okay or that we should? How do YOU feel when you are lied to? And does lying align with your overall values? Do you know what your values are?
We teach young children that stealing a sweet might be easy, no one may even notice, and you might get away with it… but that doesn’t make it right. Remember,
Integrity is not just about what we do when others are watching;
It’s about who we are when no one is.
Living with awareness – of our choices, our motivations, and our true values requires courage. It means noticing when something feels off, questioning authority when it conflicts with our inner truth, and honouring the life we’ve been given by spending our minutes wisely. Staying true to a solid inner compass grounded in values offers an opportunity to do what we feel is right and contributes to a meaningful life.
Yes, it can be a bumpy and isolated road, but surely it’s worth it. Without this self-awareness, we risk drifting into patterns where others’ voices speak louder than our own and we accept the status quo even when something doesn’t sit right within us. This is why forms of manipulation like gaslighting are so destructive. They erode our ability to trust ourselves, undermining the very foundation of integrity and awareness that guides a meaningful life.
Awareness is our greatest guide; in its absence, we hand over our power,
In its presence, we live fully alive.
Staying connected to your inner compass is vital, because without it, the voices of others can start to override your own – a theme I’ll expand on in next week’s piece about gaslighting.
So as you move through this week, may you use your minutes wisely and regularly ask yourself: Am I living by someone else’s rules despite them being in conflict with how I feel or by the truth of my own integrity? Am I acting the same when everyone and no one is watching?
Much Love
Dalya & Ben xx 💙