When a bridge is constructed, it is tested repeatedly before it is opened to the public. Even before construction begins, planners will examine the soil for a solid foundation and map the land to determine the strength and depth required. Engineers simulate the bridge’s behaviour under different weights, and weather conditions and determine the most appropriate structure style for its purpose.
Relationships and specifically trust are perhaps like a bridge we build over time with patience and experiences. With each test, the foundation is determined, and the strength and depth are established.
Trust is the most expensive commodity in the world.
It takes years to build, seconds to break,
And forever to repair.
Perhaps there is no better demonstration of love than creating an environment where people can trust you… or you can trust yourself.
We buy things based on value and trust. If we don’t make a purchase, we either didn’t see enough value or enough trust was not established. So, trust could also be described as the cornerstone for any healthy and productive personal or professional relationship.
It is human nature to want to feel safe, and trust like respect, is earned. This powerful belief that someone (or something) is good and honest is not instantaneous. It requires time, consistency, and transparency through open communication and the demonstration of genuine empathy. A delicate and powerful bond is formed when individuals believe in each other’s reliability, integrity, and sincerity.
Trust demands accountability of words and deeds honouring the commitment and genuine respect of each other’s boundaries. Only then can an atmosphere of openness and vulnerability be created, allowing both parties to share intimate thoughts, feelings, and secrets without the fear of judgement, ridicule, or betrayal.
Trust is the foundation for deeper connections where mutual respect and understanding live in harmony. When trust is present loyalty is encouraged, fostering an emotional bond that empowers each person to take risks and grow individually and together.
So what happens when trust is broken?
The very foundation upon which the relationship was built is shattered. When trust is broken it is one of the most profound and destructive breaches possible and leaves individuals feeling betrayed, hurt, and uncertain. Depending on the severity of the breach determines the level of its toxicity but all have far-reaching consequences and result in a deep scepticism and wariness. Continued broken trust contributes to strong barriers being erected and a reduced likelihood of opening up and becoming vulnerable in the future.
When we break trust with someone or we have lost the ability to trust ourselves, a memory and a point of reference are created in our mind. We draw on this when we are faced with having to trust again making it harder each time.
In the absence of trust, relationships suffer leading to increased doubt and suspicion and ultimately the erosion of the connection that once held them together.
Depending on the level of commitment and desire of both parties to invest the time and effort required, it is possible however to rebuild and even heal from broken trust. It is not for the fainthearted though and is a challenging journey requiring patience, understanding and greater communication than ever before. It insists on a willingness and unwavering commitment to change the behaviours that led to the breach in the first place. If this is non-existent or even only partially existent, then the relationship will never recover.
On a positive note… when our trust is compromised it serves as a reminder of the value and fragility of it, reinforcing the importance of looking after and nurturing our precious relationships. It also encourages empathy and selflessness and ultimately what we learn from our experience makes us more resilient and increases awareness more than anything else.
When we have been hurt or had a significant loss in our life, trusting anyone or anything can often feel impossible. But when we do let our walls down… even just a little … the positives are endless. Vulnerability and transparency can act as fuel for our aspirations, foster collaboration and create deeper more meaningful relationships that stand the test of time. And this is so worth it!
Dalya xx 💙