Have you ever had a week, or even a day, where you seemed to experience every single emotion? When things went from good to amazing to horrible, to okay, and then turned south and you watched the out-of-control train wreck waiting to happen.
How easy is it to sit and wonder what the hell is wrong with me and why do I seem incapable of keeping, or even getting, my sh*t together?
It can sometimes feel like we are so broken on so many levels. And to clarify, I don’t use that word in everyday life to describe a person as it is completely inaccurate.
Just in case you stop reading now, here’s what you need to know.
💙 Nothing is wrong with you.
💙 You are not broken – no human is.
💙 Whatever you are experiencing is temporary.
Yes, I hear you protest, but what about when you really truly feel broken?
I get it and we’ve all felt like that at some point or other. Like our whole world has shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. Whether it happens over time or suddenly, the depth of the pain and sadness continues to spread until it completely envelopes every part of you, every area of your life, sometimes to the point of suffocation.
We feel lost and completely vulnerable like the emperor suddenly realising he has no clothes. The shame can push us into isolation which leads to feeling completely alone despite being in a world of nearly 8 billion people! And by the way all of whom have probably felt just like you do.
Emotionally broken is like being caught in a storm of negative thoughts and emotions. It can feel never-ending and like an unwanted but constant companion, from the minute you wake up until you close your eyes at night, no matter how much you wish it away. It hurts your heart and can feel like it’s slowly and painfully ripping it into tiny pieces. The intensity literally takes our breath away.
Grief lives here and we can have moments, days, or even weeks where we are positive we can’t keep going and will probably never be happy again.
Mentally broken can lead to an overwhelming sense of confusion and self-doubt. We can feel incapable of making a decision or simply concentrating, drifting off into a land of unconsciousness and zero awareness.
Self-blame lives here and we can easily convince ourselves for minutes or months that this is how it is and how it will be forever. It is who we are and it’s all our fault.
Physically broken despite being a somewhat more cognitive feeling can be just as debilitating. It manifests as exhaustion, sleep disturbance, disrupted appetite, or physical pain. The energy that once fuelled you for 10, 12, 16 hours a day seems non-existent and you feel completely drained and depleted.
Lethargy lives here and is the enemy of motivation.
We have all felt these emotions and senses of being fragmented on some level – and we will again. It’s a frustrating part of being human. And it’s also what creates that delicate balance of living our best self or as a spiritual being having a physical experience.
So now what?
If you remember nothing else, remember this. You are never alone. There is always someone else out there who has experienced what you are experiencing and there is always someone you can call.
And that is where courage lives. It’s not only okay, but crucial to give yourself time – to grieve, to process, to be, and without the expectation of having all the answers right away.
No one has all the answers. They never did. They never will.
It is in those deepest darkest moments when we cry and plead, ‘What do you want from me?’ that is where the strength lives. It is this same strength that will lovingly but powerfully guide us back to feeling good again. The same strength that helps us piece ourselves back together one moment at a time.
Feeling broken is part of being human but none of us ever are.
Just as the darkest part of the night comes right before dawn, it is in those shattered broken moments where we discover our true strength and our true selves. And this is a powerful lens in which to view ourselves.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture.
Still, treat each guest honorably.
They may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
– Rumi
Much Love
Dalya xx 💙