One evening a man took a small candle from a box and began to climb a long winding staircase.  

Where are we going? asked the little candle.  
We’re going up higher than a house to show the ships the way into the harbour, replied the man. 
But no ship in the harbour could ever see my light, I am so very small, said the candle sadly. 
If your light is small, just keep burning brightly and leave the rest to me, the man replied.  

When they reached the top of the long staircase, they came to a large lamp. The man took the little candle and lit the lamp. Soon the large polished mirrors behind the lamp sent beams of light out across the miles of sea.  

It’s hard to imagine how we can make a difference in the world sometimes. It’s so busy and we seem to have so much going on, with so little time to get it all done. Each time we open our news feed we are shown another problem, another thing wrong with the world, another injustice. Drama and bad news sell so I suppose it’s in someone’s best interest to feed this negative addiction. Unfortunately, the one-minute ‘fluffy panda’ story usually aired at the very end doesn’t counteract the previous negative impact.

I haven’t watched the news in years and yet I can’t tell you how many times I have sat with my hands up and said ‘Where do I even begin? How can I possibly change the world!’.

We live our lives moving forward
but we only learn by reflecting on what has been – by looking back.

In recent years I have come to realise that it’s not always about what we do that makes the biggest difference but who we are and how we show up in the world. We have a wall hanging in our home that perfectly articulates this.  

I recently met a beautiful mother who lost her daughter Elsie just weeks ago. The day she was due to leave the hospital her baby girl became ill and passed away a few days later.

I am continually reminded that as a mother who has also faced the devastating loss of losing my child, we never imagine anything like this will ever happen to us. These things happen to other people right? And children aren’t supposed to die.

This beautiful woman walked into the room, with her brother, and both had such an incredible energy about them. They had been through so much and yet still managed to show up with a positive and open attitude despite clearly being heartbroken. Just being in that space made a big impact on those around them and I know I am not alone in feeling this.

Perhaps it was how young they both looked, but as I listened to her speak, I couldn’t help my eyes welling up as she wanted so desperately to feel ‘normal’ again. I was sadly aware of how early she was on her journey of loss and how she was still wrapped up in mother nature’s protective blanket of fog. My heart broke for her as I remembered my early days and how lost I felt for so long after losing Ben.

If you had told me then that today I would be completely immersed and totally comfortable in the bereavement space of grief and loss – I would have scoffed and said – not likely!

Sometimes the most powerful lessons,
come from the most unlikely of people,
at the most unexpected times.

I described in a message to someone ‘…it’s weird that a place of such sadness and depth has become my happy place. Perhaps this is what it truly feels like to make a difference, make my/our time count, and honour Benny and our kids.’

Quality time spent with those we love cannot ever be taken for granted.
Spend your days with those you care about and who care about you.
Do things that matter and surround yourself with people who uplift and support you and who encourage you to keep going – just one more step – just one more step – just one more step.

We never know when our time is up and like the little candle, we never know the very big impact we have on one another despite often seeing ourselves as ‘so very small’.

Much Love
Dalya xx 💙